Hope, And Other Dangers
by Feilyn
Summary: Hazel talks to Nico not long after Percy and Annabeth fall, and does her best to offer reassurance.


The second their shift is over, Nico returns to the part of his ship he's claimed as his own. Hazel hesitates for a moment, before following. He's made it pretty clear that he doesn't want to be around people right now, but Hazel is starting to learn that a part of having siblings is ignoring what they want for their greater good.

Well. That, and she just sort of wants to be around him right now. She almost lost him. And now that Percy and Annabeth are…

It's just reassuring. Knowing he's safe, even if the shadows under his eyes are from more than just the darkness he has a habit of slipping into.

"You don't need to check on me." His voice makes her jump, although she manages to bite back the squeak that wants to escape. She hadn't expected him to stop walking. "I'm fine."

_No you're not_, she wants to say, but is it even her place? Nico is her brother, but the term is a loaded one when you're a demigod.

"No, you're not." Her own voice is calm, firm. Hazel thinks that surprises her more than he had. "None of us are okay, Nico. You don't have to pretend."

She watches the way his jaw clenches, how his throat bobs as he swallows something down. Doubt starts to tug at her again – _I shouldn't have, it's not my business, it's not like I even know how to help._

And then his shoulders sag. His back hits the wall of the corridor. They're somewhere in the guts of the ship, where no one but Leo has any reason to come. Leo, who hasn't left the controls in gods only know how long, so Hazel only hesitates for a moment before reaching out to touch her brother's shoulder.

And then – she's not really sure how it happens – she's tugging him into a hug, and his face is pressed to her shoulder, and his are shaking, and she thinks that surely he can't be crying. Not Nico di Angelo.

(He's not, but Hazel thinks that he's falling apart a bit anyway). They're siblings, but ever since he took her by the hand and led her back to life, Nico has always felt a little untouchable to Hazel. She'd thought it was her – out of place, not the right sister – but as she wraps her arms around his bony body, she thinks that that isn't quite it.

Loneliness is a shield, sometimes. But it wounds just as much as it protects.

She doesn't know what to say, but it's not because she thinks it'll be wrong this time. It's because what _can_ you say? The others hadn't been there. Hadn't seen the terror on their faces – Percy, that he wouldn't reach her in time. Annabeth, that he would. The desperation, the determination, the absolute devotion.

And it had been Hazel and Nico who had lost them to Tartarus. There are no words for that kind of failure.

"I should have—" There's something in his voice, an ugly sort of pain that Hazel doesn't recognise. Doesn't think she wants to. But he doesn't finish the sentence, his forehead resting against her shoulder still.

"We can't go back." She doesn't tell him it's not his fault. It wouldn't help, and he wouldn't believe her anyway. "I think it's really easy for us to get stuck in the past. But – sitting around blaming ourselves isn't going to help us save them."

He shakes his head, the fabric of her shirt twisting from the movement. And then he's pulling away, tugging her arms off him and presenting her with his back. Hazel abruptly feels one heck of a lot more alone, but at least he's not walking away.

That hug hadn't just been for him.

"He fell with her," Nico mutters, like he can't understand it. Hazel knows what it is to sacrifice yourself for somebody that you love, but even she has trouble wrapping her head around it.

It's her turn to swallow. Maybe her brother isn't crying, but she can feel the tears pricking at her eyes. "He's Percy."

"He's an _idiot_." His fist slams into the wall, and that rawness in his voice isn't going away. There's something else going on here, something that Hazel can't quite grasp. She reaches for Nico again anyway, and he doesn't shrug her off. "He thinks he can save everyone, that he can waltz right into Gaea's and back out again, and the world will be fine. But he's _wrong_. He's just some stupid kid."

Hazel has never actually seen her brother emotional. He's always been quiet, restrained, bitter. Kind of like what she remembers of their dad. This is a Nico of fire and anguish, the Nico she thinks must have existed before Bianca's death.

This is a Nico who has lost something precious to him, and is only now starting to realise it.

The sudden insight is so clear and abrupt, for a moment she thinks it must be divinely inspired. But no, it's much simpler than that. It's the tense way he holds his shoulders, the scraped skin over white knuckles. That hideous note in his voice, the way he can't quite meet her eyes even as he half-turns his head towards her again. Like he's seeking reassurance. Or a denial.

_I don't think Percy is trying to save everyone right now_. But Hazel bites her tongue on that thought, because maybe that's part of the problem. Either way, speaking it out loud isn't going to help anything. It doesn't change what's happened.

"We're going to get them back," she says instead, her fingers tightening on his upper arm, tugging him the rest of the way back to her. His eyes are rimmed red now along with the black, different shades of despair. "Nico? We're going to get them back."

His dark gaze skips restlessly over her face; a smile twists his lips with no trace of humour, self-deprecating. He must see it in her expression, the recognition. The understanding.

"I guess that's the best I can hope for," he says finally.

And Hazel's heart breaks a little more for her brother, because he's right.


End file.
